Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Men Wear Masks and Women Wear...Very Little

The Mask You Live In is the sequel to Miss Representation, and it is about the same things Miss Representation is about, but regarding men. Here is a link to the trailer, I highly recommend the movie. It focuses in how men are taught to hide emotion and be aggressive. It discusses how men are all steered toward "boy" things, and away from "girl" things. It seems that it is more acceptable for a little girl to be into sports than it is for a little boy to be into dolls. Of course, neither is actually limited to one gender (although marketers seem to think so), but we have this perception that they are.

One thing I found interesting in the film was some information about depression. Statistics about depression say that women are more likely to be depressed than men, but it turns out that the traditional way to measure depression doesn't account for the way men tend to express depression. When a woman is depressed, she will express depression in the ways we think of it now. When a man is depressed, he will express it mostly through anger and acts of violence. He is taught that anger is the only emotion he can show and expresses his self-hatred or hopelessness through this outlet. I thought about this, and it seems that this would be bad in two ways. First, it's harder for them to be treated because their symptoms aren't screened for. Second, they are likely to get in trouble with the law or in their social group, which can lead to even worse situations for their mental well-being.

It is interesting that women's problems are amplified so much more in the media than men's. This is probably due to the sort of behaviors perpetuated in men: they aren't supposed to express when they are distraught about the way the system is going, and less likely to feel emotionally about the pressures on them. Conversely, when a man sees something he feels is wrong with the world, he is more likely to take action about it, while a woman is more likely to talk about the problem to express her emotions without doing anything about it. In reality, there is no reason both options couldn't be done together (perm), but some combination of nature and nurture made these the norm.

I feel that one shortcoming of The Mask is that it focuses heavily on toxic masculinity, men perpetuating hyper masculine behaviors to other men (calling each other pussies, ridiculing crying, etc.) but doesn't address enough why they feel the need to do this in the first place. Sure, these habits were probably perpetuated by other men, but it doesn't really address where the problem comes from. It seems that, just as the idea of what a woman should be is perpetuated by men, the idea of what a man should be is perpetuated by women. Even if men have more power overall, women still control which men they pick (I know that's heteronormative or whatever, but I'm talking about the population as a whole so what is true for the majority is most relevant).

I think this shows a really interesting parallel between the two, because both seem to aspire to be what the other is missing. Men are supposed to be assertive action-takers, something women are told they can't be. Women are supposed to be helpless damsels who are taken care of by others and who express their emotions freely and need a shoulder to cry on, things men are told they can't do. As far as sexuality goes, I think what each is supposed to be is actually a representation of what the other is. If a woman is a sexual object, an emotional relationship isn't necessary, something the ideal man doesn't have. If a man is supposed to be gentle, putting the woman first, than emotion is the most important part of the relationship. Both show their own ideas of what they should be in what they say the other should be. To summarize, everyone is perpetuating unrealistic expectations about everyone else, and all of those expectations show more about your own insecurities than about the other person.

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